Halloween Memories

Now that I am an adult, I have to face the fact that I can no longer go Trick-or-Treating. It has been many many years since I went Trick-or-Treating, though every year I think about how tempting it is to dress up, disguise my voice (make it sound more kid-like) and get some of that candy! I could do it. I am only five foot one, so I could pass for a kid.

Of course, as an adult, there are many advantages! You can just buy a 90-package of chocolate bars and a box of chips. And you can dress up too! Though there is just something satisfying about going door to door with a pillow case. At least, I have the memories from my childhood of going Trick-or-Treating.

I remember practically all of my Halloween costumes. My mother always made sure to buy my costumes two sizes bigger than what I’d normally wear so that a sweater, a winter coat, and a scarf could fit underneath. It’s usually chilly in Canada this time of year, so I understand that she didn’t want me to catch cold. Though what she didn’t realize, I would be dying of heat after running to each house with my friends. If someone were to take a photo of me then, I would’ve looked like a giant ball. There were so many layers of clothing underneath my costume, you could barely tell what I was supposed to be.

Knock Knock

“Trick-or-Treat!”

“Oh, look what we have here! A ghost, a witch, and…. what are you supposed to be dear?”

“I’m a princess!”

“You have a lovely… costume!”

My favorite thing to receive was a can of pop (called soda in America). My parents rarely bought pop. Pop was for special occasions. So whenever I’d hear the metal “cling cling” and feel the weight dropping into my bag, I’d make sure to say a loud “THANK YOU!!”

My Halloween candy usually lasted about two months. I was very protective of my stuff so I’d count how many chocolate bars, chips, and so on and make a tally. This was because my Mom had a tendency to steal my Halloween candy. While I was at school, she used to gradually snack on my candy. So I decided to hide it from her.

I think that in my previous life, I was probably some type of squirrel. I made stashes of Halloween candy all over my room. I had some in my closet, under my bed, under my pillow, and in my dresser. One day, Mom found that I was eating too much candy.

“Should I go to my room Mom?” Okay, word of advise to all parents! If a kid asks to go to their room, be suspicious. Be very suspicious.

“Yes dear, I think it’s best that you go to your room. I’ll come and get you later.”

I turned around and tried my best to hide the evil smirk on my face.

And so I feasted on my stash!

Meanwhile…

Am I being to harsh? Maybe I was. I’ll go see her to see if she’s okay. – Mom’s thoughts.

“Alice sweetie.” Mom opened the door.

I hid my candy wrappers.

“Yes?”

Pause

“Why do you have chocolate all over your mouth?”

“Um…”

So long story short, I had no choice but to show her the stash. She couldn’t believe that a seven year old could come up with such a plan. She thought it was so clever that I didn’t even get in trouble.

Other than that, I was a good kid, I swear ;).

Until next time,

-Alice

5 Questions

Q & A

1. What would you name your future daughter?

Elise. I like the name and I think it’s very pretty! It’s not very common, though it is not so unpopular that I won’t be able to find one of those key chains or t-shirts with her name on it. 

2. Have you pretended to like someone?

Yes. Haven’t we all? Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. If I dislike someone, they probably have no clue.

[This is an example of me pretending to like someone… well… actually it’s a rant about someone I dislike. You can skip it if you wish]

For instance, there is this guy in one of my classes whom I can’t stand. He is extremely disrespectful and just a pain in the neck. He thinks that he is the God of the universe. Once he forgot his textbook. I usually don’t mind sharing (sharing is caring right?). I opened the textbook so that it was half on my desk and half on his. Beside him was his cup of coffee. Most people leave the lid on the coffee so that it wont spill. But no. It was filled to the brim and without a lid, and it was two inches from my textbook. For those who are wondering how much my textbook cost it is approximately $130. He didn’t spill coffee on my textbook, but… it could’ve happened. I was just really lucky.

3. Do you read fan fiction? Do you write fan fiction?

Sometimes I read it. I have never been inspired to write fan fiction. I don’t know why exactly. My guess is, it is harder to create something using someone else’s characters than your own. There is more room to speculate when you create the characters and scenario. I read once that there are some authors or celebrities who love it when fans create fan fiction, and some who really hate it. Some see it as plagiarism. I wouldn’t go as far to call it plagiarism. I wonder what the general population thinks… Thoughts anyone?

4. Ever have recurring nightmares?

I don’t have nightmares on a daily basis (thank goodness). There is one nightmare that I get every once and a while. It is the same concept, just with minor variations. In my nightmare I am always running away from someone. The more I run and hide, the more the person catches up to me. The scary part is, the more I try harder to run, the more my legs feel like jelly and stay in the same spot. I’ve had dreams like that for years and years.

5. Are you often mistaken to be older or younger?

People always think I am younger than I am. Even though I personally don’t think so, many have said that I look young for my age. I don’t mind it too much, though it is a little annoying. Whenever I tell people my age, they are always shocked. Then they tell me, “you’ll understand when you’re older. When you are older and look young, it’s a good thing. Maybe not at your age now, but at my age, it is.” I just nod.

Weekends With Richard III

Whose idea was it to take a university Shakespeare class anyway? Oh, wait, it was me. 

As I mentioned in my last post, it is midterm time for university students like myself. As a future English major, I must take 10 upper level English classes from now until I graduate. I must take 3 classes pre-1800. So, I took Shakespeare. 

This weekend, I had to watch Richard III (1995 with Ian McKellen) and write a 4 page paper. [spoiler alerts!] What’s up with that ending?  It was random… So very random. How do I analyze this? Richard III has no where to run, he smiles delivers a line from act 5.3 of the play and falls to his death while cheerful happy music plays in the background. If he wasn’t falling into a pit of fire to his death, the nineteen thirties music wouldn’t have been so strange. I have an idea of what it could represent, but I will have to wait until after I turn in my paper to share it (in case my prof thinks I am plagiarizing myself). Besides, I think my interpretations are crazy anyway…

I really hate those weekends when you want nothing more than to watch episode 2 of the Originals and the Vampire Diaries and make a plate of cookies, but you can’t because you have to spend it with Richard III instead. I have been meaning to make cookies for weeks… But no! I must study and write papers. I could almost hear the cries of the chocolate chips in my pantry:

“Alice! Alice! We are right here! Make cookies! Cookies! Cookies! Chocolate chip cookies! Your favorite dessert (besides ice cream)!” I’m surprised I haven’t been called the Cookie Monster yet. It would be a perfect nickname for me! 

Until next time,

-Alice 

Nightmares of Spanish Class

Fun fact: I fear failure.

Being a university student forces you to cope with the stress of failing. After I do a test, it doesn’t matter how well I thought I did, I will always feel stressed. WHAT IF I FAIL! That thought always passes my mind. I am not sure why I am so afraid of failing. Maybe its because I feel like if I fail once then I will descend into a spiral of failures. This probably wouldn’t happen. In truth, I would probably drive myself crazy by studying harder by sacrificing my sanity.

Anyway, it is mid term time right now in university. This week, I was on the edge of my seat wondering… “DID I FAIL MY SPANISH TEST!” As time went on, I began to doubt my abilities. What if ___ happens and ____  happens and I fail! Of course these fears must manifest itself in my dreams. Great.

A few nights ago, the night before I was supposed to get my Spanish test back, I had nightmares all night long. I dreamt over and over of being late for Spanish class, seeing the professor’s disappointment as he hands me my test score. 30%. I then woke up.

“Oh great! It was just a dream!” I fell back to sleep.

Once again in my dream I was late for Spanish. I saw the professor. 20%. I woke up again.

“Seriously! I’m glad it’s just a dream,” I feel asleep once again.

Yet another reoccurrence of the same dream . This time… you guessed it! 10%.

The next morning, I was tired.

“I am sorry, but your tests aren’t marked yet,” the professor apologised. “Friday for sure!”

The agony was prolonged to a few days later. Today I trembled in my seat.

“Alice!” I raise my hand. I probably looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

92% A+

Really Alice…  

Yes.. really…

The moral of the story is… there is no point stressing out for test results. Once they are written, they are done with. Please don’t be like me. 🙂

Until next time,

-Alice

My Pre-teen Years: A Reflection

I have been writing in a journal since I was eleven years old. Since then, I have written over 15 journals detailing the highlights of my boring life. Sometimes I like to reread my journal (especially the entries from my pre-teen years because most of them are usually hilarious!). Today I was bored and had nothing better to do with my time. So I pulled out my Mickey Mouse journal from when I was twelve. This entry stood out to me:

April 2nd

I you’re wondering how the dance was, well don’t ask because I know that no matter what I do, no one will ask me to dance. The worst of all disappointment was to see [my crush] ask [my friend] to slow dance. That really hurt, but I tried to smile as I watched (though I probably shouldn’t have because I felt worst)…But I learned something that night, sometimes I’m going to loose even if I tried hard… because that’s just the way life works.

Back then at that age, I believed that my self-worth depended only on if a guy liked me and found me pretty. I know there are many girls that age and even older who felt/feel the same way. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself: “hey, Alice! This guy was a jerk! You don’t need him! The most important thing is to have fun with your friends.” But I know that if I were to tell myself this, it would probably go in one ear and out the other. It takes experience and a lot of self-reflection to understand that you (and you alone) define your own self-worth.

When I look back to my twelve-year-old self, I realise that I had to be twelve and insecure to become the person that I am today. It was one of those challenges that I had to overcome, and I am thankful that at some point between then and now I had “seen the light.”

Until next time,

-Alice

Procrastination

“Hi, I’m Alice and I am a procrastinator.”

everyone: “Hi, Alice….”

Yes, I will admit it, I am a procrastinator. I always manage to get things done on time without staying up until the crack of dawn, but I should be more efficient. On days when I should write up that 5-6 minute presentation on Much Ado About Nothing, I find myself glued to the screen of my IPod. What am I doing? I am usually watching and re-watching videos of Hyde of VAMPS and L’Arc-en-Ciel, or I am watching a Korean drama (I have recently become addicted to Kdramas…) Admittedly, I am a silly fan girl who has nothing better to do with her time – well, actually I do, I just don’t do it.

Somehow, my brain believes that procrastination is necessary to success. Yes, I will sink so low as to blame my brain functions as if I am a separate entity. Whenever I plan out my essays, I usually plan for procrastination time because I know it’s going to happen whether I like it or not. It is not a question of if, it is always only a matter of time. If I were to take away my internet connection (NOOOOOO!!!), I would probably find a piece of string and play with it for two hours instead. Did I mention that I am a person who is easily amused? Whether it is through the internet or through pointless things, I will always procrastinate.

Until next time,

-Alice

Criticism

A few years ago, I wrote a book. I was very young then, and it was practically unheard of for a person of my age to actually follow through and complete it. I never thought of myself as too young to write a novel. It’s preposterous to think that way! Thinking you’re too young to write a novel is like saying you are too young to be able to speak.

I wrote the novel on my summer holidays. It contained a lot of my frustrations with school as well as my hormonal teenage self questioning my life purpose. Upon reading it years later, I found that it contained more of myself than I had anticipated. Though, it was really inevitable.

My dream has and probably always will be to become a published author. I want people to read my books and become inspired by my words. I couldn’t think of a more gratifying experience.

Publishing a novel is easy today. Getting your novel out there to a multitude of people… well… that’s another story. Self publishing is an easy route, but also a difficult route as far as marketing goes. Publishing with a small publishing company is a good idea… if you are okay with selling 100 copies or less. (Of course both methods have made some people successful just not the majority). To get my novel published with a large publishing company is my dream.

A while ago, a well-known poet was holding a writer’s workshop at the university I attended. He invited writers to submit a portion of their work to be critiqued by him. I jumped at the opportunity and sent him the first ten pages of my novel. A week later, I had an appointment to meet him in person.

I was extremely nervous. My heart beat frantically, I could hardly walk in a straight line. We shook hands. He introduced himself, and I did the same. He had a printed copy of my manuscript on the table.

“So,” he began “who influenced you to write this?”

“Um…” Who? Who? What do I read again? I couldn’t think straight. “Er… Charlotte Bronte…”

I said that even though my novel is nothing like any of Charlotte Bronte’s works. I just blurted “Charlotte Bronte” because she is my favorite author.

“I see,” he said. “What was the last book you read?”

Is this a quiz?!!

“The Road, by Cormac McCarthy…” I had to read it for school. I didn’t particularly enjoy it because I had no choice but to read it. Perhaps if I read it for fun, I would’ve had a different opinion.

“Yes, I like his work very much! Now! On to the pages you sent me.” At this point my heart beat picked up again. I saw a bunch of scratch marks in pencil. It looked as if my manuscript had been defaced.

Everywhere throughout the manuscript was the word “CLICHE” “CLICHE” “CLICHE”. My heart sank.

“I see that there are lots of clichés..”

I don’t really remember the rest of our conversation, only that he had nothing good to say about my manuscript. I felt crushed. It’s good to give an honest opinion, but sometimes it is nice to hear if you are doing something right. I believe that every manuscript has something to offer whether it is well written or not.

The fact that he never complimented me once brought me down. In the months that followed, I lost my confidence. Then, I realized, wait…. I’m going to let someone else’s opinion bring me down? Just because he doesn’t like it doesn’t mean that thousands will dislike it too. And If it is as terrible as he says, why couldn’t he give me suggestions to fix my mistakes?

Sometimes, whether someone has credibility or not, you should sometimes question their opinion. Other factors could be influencing his opinion. For instance, he could’ve been tired. Maybe he didn’t like the genre. Whatever the case may be, I was stupid to let it bring me down. The worst thing you could do as a writer is let others bring you down. Although I didn’t hear what I wanted to hear, I learned a valuable  lesson. Many people do give up after hearing that they aren’t good enough. But if you love something enough, you will never quit!

-Alice

Ranting!

Hi,

It’s been a while since my last post. I could call it laziness or that I was super busy… truth is… I had nothing to write about. Sending my writing out there into the vastness of the internet is scary for me. I edit five times in my head before I write something. Whenever I don’t publish what I write (write for the sake of writing) I don’t think about my potential audience, even though this blog doesn’t get many views…

So what have I been doing for the past two months? Living. Eating. Breathing. Working. Spending too much time listening to music, and surfing Tumblr amongst other things. Someone probably should bar me from the internet and music every once and a while so that I can do something more productive.

With that said, I have recently been thinking of a way to rework my novel. Novels are tricky to write. Especially this one. Well… who am I kidding… this is the first novel I have ever written. I am reluctant to let anyone read it. I edit like crazy even though I have been working on it for three years!!! Writing impassions me, and drives me to the brink of despair at the same time. What a wonderful hobby! Though… without it, life would be rather bland.

Hopefully I can start publishing a bit more on this blog. If I disappear for a while, chances are I will come back eventually.

Until next time,

(whenever that may be)

-Alice